This avalanche of snow (by Redding standards) usually results in a day off from school. Not this time.
In keeping with the long Redding tradition of natural disasters occurring on or around Thanksgiving (following the Shake and Bake Turkey Quake of 1998 and Dark Meat Shingletown Power Outage of 2018) Redding Jefferson is proud to unveil Snowmageddon Part Two: The Revenge.
Like most sequels, this one is a completely unrequested follow-up that failed to deliver on the prior installment’s impact, and area school children are not at all happy.
“We demand an extra day off school!” shouted one pernicious youngster. Clarence McCanders, grandchild to community organizer and local curmudgeon Terrance McCanders, waved a sign outside his grade school surrounded a mob of students. “When it snows in Redding, we get a day off!” he shouted into our microphone. “It’s not our fault it happened during the Thanksgiving break! We demand reparations!”
Redding Jefferson reached out to the local school board who was unavailable for comment due to an unrelated power outage caused when a PG&E operator sneezed on a transformer. Local teachers are also unavailable for comment until the afternoon of Black Friday when they are expected to be sober again.