Violent Rally Turned Peaceful On Cypress Street Bridge

Leading up to the impeachment vote in Congress, protesters and counter-protesters alike turned out Tuesday night at the Cypress Street Bridge for a violent, destructive rally that unexpectedly turned peaceful. When the sun set and the sky turned dark, the deadly rally turned safe and failed to claim a single life while rioters peacefully voiced their opinions respecting the opposition’s right to do the same.

Numerous under-turned vehicles were left strewn about on all four-wheels as drivers were racing at a slow-rate of speed away from the calm, serene-like evening. Numerous structures around Redding failed to burn down as the Molotov cocktails were left unignited and unassembled.  Rioter and local curmudgeon Terrance McCanders was disappointed.  “Why did I even dust off my torch tonight?” he told Redding Jefferson with a sigh.

The Cypress Street Bridge was unavailable for comment.