An unnamed exterminator is dead today after being licked to death by an affectionate Border Collie outside an East Redding home. The exterminator, whose name has not been released pending notification of next of kin, was two months from retirement.
Homeowner and local curmudgeon Terrence McCanders expressed sorrow but did not claim responsibility. “I warned him,” McCanders told Redding Jefferson. “I said ‘This is Fido, he’ll lick you to death.’ I don’t know how much clearer I could have been.”
The unmarried exterminator leaves behind one cat, a half a closet of clothes, and house full of electronics. Per his final wishes the funeral will be held at Best Buy.