East Redding Citizens Unwilling to Cross the River

East Redding homeowner Julia Jeffrey recently learned of the untimely passing of her mother, West Redding resident Susan Stevens, who left a sizeable inheritance to Julia.  She need only access the probate lawyer, sign a few papers, and the money will be hers.  But there's a problem.  The lawyer, like Julia's mother, is in West Redding.  "I can't bring myself to cross the river.  I know a lifetime of ease and luxury awaits me there, but I just can't do it."

A common problem for East Redding residents, the fear of crossing the Sacramento River (known as Sacraphobia to the experts) is keeping too many East Reddingites from downtown.  "It started with Anderson," recounts Patrick Sallie, a divorcee who's former wife took a job at City Hall prior to the end of their marriage.  "At first, I couldn't bring myself to drive all the way to Anderson.  It's just so far.  And then Placer...it's too far away.  Practically another State."  Breaking down into tears, Patrick said between sobs, "It's mayhem over there!  There's no freeway!  No protected left turns!  Terrible parking!  There's this amazing pad thai place right near the jail but...but...I just can't do it."

Julia, sadly, isn't doing much better.  "I really like Downtown Redding.  Light shopping and a steak dinner, but I have to park in a structure and walk, like, two...three blocks."  Throwing up her hands, she shook her head in exasperation.  "I guess the money will just, I dunno, go to the government."  Then with a smile, she added, "But good news: Kahuna's!  They moved to East Redding.  There's always that."