Batman is now a free agent. Citing a desire to move to a smaller town and settle into semi-retirement, the dark knight is openly considering a move to Redding, but not everyone is excited. "Batman may be ready for Redding, but is Redding ready for Batman?" asked the mayor at a recent town hall meeting. Numerous citizens expressed concern that superheroes need supervillains, and Redding has none. Local curmudgeon Terrence McAnders shouted, "He'll bring them crazies with him! They always do!"
Speaking with local superhero expert Randall Clagstone, Redding Jefferson learned it isn't always about the superhero. "Every superhero has a secret identity," he told us over drinks outside Maxwell's near the mall, "but we don't know who Batman's secret identity is. He's rich, we know that much, but that's it. What problems will the man bring with the hero?"
Before Redding Jefferson had a chance to ask another question, an 18-wheeler skidded to a stop in the Discovery Village parking lot. From the back of the trailer, The Joker burst out with a laugh, followed by The Penguin, Bane, Ra's al Ghul, and numerous unnamed henchmen. Local curmudgeon Terrance McAnders ran away shouting, "They're here! Them crazies're already here!" The Joker was unavailable for comment but assured Redding Jefferson we'd be hearing from him.
All this, of course, comes on the heels of the City of Redding rejecting an offer from Spiderman citing too much turnover in the franchise.